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You always struck me as the type to take it lightly

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Tuesday, May 25th, 2010
10:32 pm

There is a breeze

Underground today

It almost feels like ive emerged

Like a new born baby

Taking a breath for the first time

And using it to scream

There is a breeze, underground today

And it as it graces my cheek

I feel the sonar echo of the words you used to speak

Things are too hard for me

Walking above

So i'm down here in the cellar, grasping hard onto the last reverberations of what we used to be

In the cellar today I saw a red light

And made no difference that ive been so pale

For so long


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Wednesday, February 22nd, 2006
10:00 pm - The only thing worth posting in this worthless thing.
For all who knew her:

My dog Jessie died yesturday.


Its really rough on everyone.

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Sunday, May 29th, 2005
12:10 am - Borrowed from Marc.
1) My uncle once: brought back the old familiar feeling of being young and simple

2) Never in my life: have I ever taken my human life for granted

3) When I was five: I slipped and fell and bit almost through my cheek

4) High School was: A time I never want to relive, a time that is better left upstairs with my highschool skin.

5) I will never forget: the sky and its ever changing moods

6) I once met: a subway musician, who lifted my hopes

7) There's this person I know who: is better left alone.

8) Once, at a bar: I walked out.

9) By noon I'm usually: a different person, a person that I wished that i could be if I could only stop pretending and make it feel natural. A high energy retail junky.

10) Last night: I woke to find you not there, like you had been the night before.

11) If I only had: 92 million dollars

12) Next time I go to church/temple: I want to be the one who built it.

13) Terri Schiavo: meh.

14) I like: feeling you next to me, satisfied

15) When I turn my head right, I see: An angel playing guitar

16) When I turn my head left, I see: A door out of this place.

17) You know I'm lying when: Im awake.

18) In grade school: I was trapped, well more trapped than I am now.

19) If I was a character written by Shakespeare, I'd be: ridiculous.

20) By this time next year: I want to put out a new album and you can all have a listen.

21) A better name for me would be: Everunfolding, Evolving, Protected, Loved Chela.

22) I have a hard time understanding: My evolution, my path, and the end to all means

23) If I ever go back to school I'll: make that day today.

24) You know I like you if: I give you a hard time.

25) If I won an award, the first person I'd thank would be: Guru.

26) I hope that: I will continue to live a happy, healthy and enriching life.

27) Take my advice: Life is hard because it is supposed to be hard, lets just make peace with that.

28) My ideal breakfast is: Grilled Bagel, Cream Cheese, Strawberry Jelly, One egg over-easy, pears, apples, strawberries, grapes, Apple Juice.

29) A song I love, but do not have is: a song I haven't heard yet.

30) If you visit my hometown, I suggest: You drive around the rotary.

31) Tulips, character flaws, microchips, & track stars: Are all coming to my party.

32) Why won't anyone: Tell it how it is.

33) If you spend the night at my house: Well your not going to.

34) I'd stop my wedding for: NO ONE

35) The world could do without: pollution.

36) I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: trip and scrape my knees

37) My favorite blonde is: Beezley

38) Paper clips are more useful than: your drivel.

40) And by the way: Im avoiding the conclusion of the day.

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Tuesday, May 24th, 2005
10:03 pm
Its a non stop disco

betcha its nabisco

betcha ya didn't know ooo hoo!

Its non stop disco

betcha didn't know

betcha didn't know

betcha didn't know.

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Thursday, March 31st, 2005
7:30 am - Don't take me wrong, my industrial is cool
BUT IT FUCKING KILLS.


ahhh. it kept me up all night because I could not switch sides of sleeping like im used to.

rawk. lets see how the employers like this one.

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Saturday, March 12th, 2005
10:31 am
I feel horrible sleeping. or eating for that matter

Everytime I try and fall asleep my heart races. I just can't do it.

Ive been up for so long, just worrying.

I just can't believe how horrible everything is.

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Tuesday, March 8th, 2005
10:37 am
"you'll say it's really good to see you
you'll say i missed you horribly
you'll say let me carry that
give that to me
and you will take the heavy stuff
and you will drive the car
and i'll look out the window and make jokes
about the way things are

how can i go home
with nothing to say
i know you're going to look at me that way
and say what did you do out there
and what did you decide
you said you needed time
and you had time."

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Sunday, February 27th, 2005
11:34 pm - EEp!
P.S.

It has been brought to my attention by Katherine vanderwick that MSI is coming to the Avalon April 10th at 6:30pm in which I frantically bought a ticket today.

16 bucks

http://www.ticketmaster.com/event/01003A57E5D9E684?artistid=717658&majorcatid=10001&minorcatid=60

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11:28 am
GAHH i got offered the assistant manager position for time factory

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11:07 am
I fucking hit a deer last night.

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Wednesday, February 16th, 2005
10:40 am - Words.
I am truely blessed for all that I have in my life.

For michael, music, knowledge, people who care, my family and first of all, spirit.

And even though I get so impatient

To a future of bright and enriching things. I am thankful today


Best of all, I have even been able to write satisfying things even with this happiness.

I feel really alive.

Blessings to everyone in hopes that you have also achieved or are looking up to a degree of satisfaction and fullness within yourself even if just for a day.

-Wahe Guru-

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Monday, January 31st, 2005
1:14 pm
Please goddess

send Mindless self indulgence out for a tour soon

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Thursday, January 20th, 2005
10:46 am - Had a northern lad, well not exactly had
I thought we'd be ok

Me and my molasses

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Tuesday, November 2nd, 2004
9:14 am
"Hearken to the natural spiritual promptings of your heart and follow its loving counsel. You will seldom be led astray when your consciousness is methodically cleansed of pre-conceived opinions, and you open yourself to the God Will as a child, knowing that wheresoever it leads is truly the Path of Righteousness."

yes.

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Friday, October 22nd, 2004
8:09 am
Aham Prema

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Monday, June 21st, 2004
11:37 am
We stood outside of his work and he looked at the pay phone and told me that he had to call his mother

do you want to use my cell phone?

no, but my mom told me to call her when I fell in love.

I pushed him, and he smiled at me, we laughed at the cheesy-ness of it. and he continued while I buried my head in his chest

if I were to call her, I would tell her that I met the perfect girl for me.

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Friday, June 18th, 2004
7:25 pm
When I came home last night I could smell you all over me
its as if you followed me home and stood behind me until I laid down in bed, reached for you with my eyes shut and felt nothing.


I get taught the words that Ill need to describe you
to hold on to when the morning after tries to blow you away..
when my eyes open and I drink in the day through a straw Ill get taught the notes that will rebuild you, that will rebuild me.
and If you promise to keep playing it
I promise I'll sing along.

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Wednesday, June 16th, 2004
11:34 am
You see when a pen wakes you up in the morning you know that someone is trying to save your life
cause writing is a raft when you are caught in a sea of your own nightmares
writing comes when you hit the interlude between the bed and the floor.
when you want to walk upside down out of your skin,
but are forced to resort to fixation on blankets that can hold on to heavy gripping and have ears that can endure painful screaming.

I am sick
but my body always wants me up early
I think it gets tired of playing my conscious home movies
through a high definition eye that has to force the colors past what they want to be.
and I think I'm scared that
I can't heal myself by closing my windows and shutting my blinds
just by letting those hopeless images pass by
but I know that its more this time
So much more that I want to leave this place so you can't see what I look like when I'm losing my grace.
when the grandeur of my castle has become piles and piles of dirt
it all comes away so easy at times like these
but I think I knew I had a problem when I was writing this at five in the morning.

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Tuesday, June 1st, 2004
8:48 pm
"And once again the depths of my life rush onward,
as if they were moving in wider channels now.
Things are becoming more close to me
and all images more thoroughly looked upon.
I feel more comfortable with that which is nameless,:
With my senses, as with birds, I reach up
into the windy heavens out of the oak,
and in those pools broken off from the day,
my feeling, as if standing on fishes, descends. "

-RMR

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Monday, May 31st, 2004
11:02 am
I am stepping ever...so....quietly...as not to disturb .life. looks so peaceful when its sleeping
and im not ready to open eyes again.

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